Law School and My Mental Health
I applied to several law schools in Indiana and I was not accepted to any. I was initially denied admission at Valparaiso University School of Law but I received a second letter saying that I had been admitted on a part-time basis. This meant I had to take a reduced number of hours my first and second semester. If my grades were high enough, then I would be able to be a full time student starting my second year.
My first year grades were high enough to become a full time student. I then took summer classes and starting the uphill climb to catch up. I took 17 and 18 credit hours my second year and was able to graduate in three years on time with the rest of my classmates.
During my first and second year of law school, my mental illness was still untreated. I was not taking medicine and was not in therapy. Then in my third year, I started to experience significant depression and anxiety. I remember feeling so overwhelmed and fearful that I would not be able to complete all of the work. I had irritational fears of failing my classes. I did return to individual therapy. However, I did not tell anyone at the law school about my mental health. I did not engage with any of the support services they offered. Honestly, I just never even thought about it. I just didn’t feel like it was for me.
Another thing on my mind in my third year was the bar exam and the character and fitness application. I knew that I would have to answer question about my mental health on the character and fitness application. I think that is one thing that motivated me to go to a psychologist for a diagnosis review. The pyschologist did extensive testing and diagnosed me with cyclothymic disorder. I started taking Paxil, the same medicine I took when I was in high school. My therapist helped me overcome the intense anxiety and remember some of the tools she had taught me to help me cope with the depression and anxiety. I kept all of this private. I think the only people who knew were my mom, dad, sister, and my law school girlfriend.
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